As a father, one of my deepest-rooted desires is for my children to receive my legacy and continue on through life building on what I’ve achieved, developed and, more importantly, what I’ve learned. I would love to see them exhibit the values that we’ve instilled in them.
Many entrepreneurs may be nodding their heads with me. We watch as our kids go forward in life, hoping our values will stay with them, and that they’ll honor themselves and those who came before them while carrying on family businesses, tradition, or whatever you consider your legacy so that it continues for generations ahead.
For those that consider this a priority, it can be difficult to know exactly how to encourage your kids to take up that mantle. After all, the pace of modern life is always accelerating and the way new generations prioritize their lives is constantly changing. Technology is overwhelming; is it possible to see your children carry on your legacy?
The answer is no. You can’t make your children believe in the power and beauty of your dream. That doesn’t mean that they won’t. It just means that you can’t predict how your children will view your vision of what you’ve built. Many parents have dreamed that their children would take up their life’s work, only to be devastated when it didn’t happen.
Be realistic. There is no guarantee that anyone in your family will step up. This also doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try. The question you should ask is, “Why should my children carry on my legacy?”
What is your legacy?
Until you can describe what your legacy is, you can’t show your children what it is that you want them to carry on. Often, a legacy can be described as the results of a life’s work combined with the values that underpinned that effort. For example, a legacy could be a powerful business and its core values.
However, not everyone can physically touch their legacy. A life spent in the service of a great cause as a worker rather than a leader can is only seen through the lives that that service touched. Know what your legacy is, and you can show why you believe that it is so important.
And that is why someone would carry on your legacy. They see your passion and accept that, yes, it is important to carry this on for future generations. To infuse your kids with a love for the work you’ve done, they have to repeatedly see how much you believe in what you are doing. You must show them your passion for what you consider your legacy. Maybe you’ve built a world-class business from humble beginnings.
Perhaps you practice philanthropy as a vocation while working at something else during the day. No matter what it is, if your children believe in such a thing as a legacy, you will need to be the best example you possibly can if you hope to have one or more of them take up the task.
During your kids’ teen years, it is entirely possible that you will get the cold shoulder. This is not the time to get your feelings hurt. This is an opportunity to show by example how you handle adversity. You need to demonstrate the values that underpin that work early and often. It’s the way a person carries themselves that ultimately engenders respect and it is that respect that can sow the seed that grows into the desire to carry your work forward.
But what if your children decide that they have their own story to write. Does that mean that all hope is lost that your work will be carried on? Not at all. We are all familiar with accounts of great traditions being passed down to younger disciples or colleagues. If you are firm in your conviction to pass your legacy to one who understands how important your work is, don’t limit yourself.
By far the most important qualification for receiving the fruits of your labor is understanding and empathy to what you hold important and an enthusiasm to receive your gift. If you’ve led a life that makes you proud, your family will have reaped the benefits even if they don’t decide to carry your legacy forward.
Brandon Vallorani is a practiced entrepreneur and accomplished CEO, author of The Wolves and the Mandolin (ForbesBooks; 2017), and third generation Italian-American.
Founder of a media conglomerate recognized on the Inc. 5000 for five consecutive years, Brandon sold to a colleague in the business, and has more recently shifted focus to his other entrepreneurial endeavors.
Vallorani Estates offers hand-curated luxury products for those who celebrate life’s privileges, and a number of ventures run through his consulting business Romulus Marketing.
Vallorani graduated from West Virginia University with a Bachelor’s of Fine Arts in Graphic Design, and began his career in the non-profit sector. He quickly rose through the ranks to become Executive Vice President in a few short years, simultaneously earning his Master of Business Administration from Thomas More College.
He lives in Metro-Atlanta, with his wife with whom he shares seven children, a son-in-law, and a grandson. In his free time, Brandon enjoys playing in casinos around the country, his three dogs, and learning Italian.